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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28376580">just out of reach (IwaOi)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitycole/pseuds/kaitycole'>kaitycole</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>just out of reach series (IwaOi) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Iwaizumi Hajime, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Omega Oikawa Tooru, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:01:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28376580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitycole/pseuds/kaitycole</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi and Oikawa were always within arms reach of the other, but what happens when misunderstandings and unspoken emotions drive them apart? What happens when everything they thought they knew about the other ceases to be true and they are left to pick the pieces of their friendship up…alone?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime &amp; Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>just out of reach series (IwaOi) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2281310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue: latibule</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first attempt at an Omegaverse so I will explain how things vary in mine when those topics come up.</p><p>latibule: a place of safety and comfort</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>6 years old</p><p>“Tooru, careful! Don’t hurt Hajime.” Oikawa Miyeko warns as her six-year old son tugs his best friend behind him.</p><p>“He’s going to be an Alpha, Hajime will be just fine, dear.” Her husband, Daisuke says as his attention turns back to his newspaper.</p><p>The Oikawas and Iwaizumis are gathered outside at a park, enjoying a nice outing together.</p><p>“Alphas don’t get dragged around, Daisuke.” Miyeko defends her previous statement.</p><p>Iwaizumi Kana smiles softly, “I don’t think my Hajime is being dragged around at all.”</p><p>Miyeko goes to speak again before deciding not to. As a mother, she knows how protective other mothers are. Though she wishes she could see what Kana is seeing and understand why she thought her son wasn’t being dragged around.</p><p>They say a mother knows best and that’s the case with Kana. Hajime isn’t being dragged around, his friend isn’t making him go anywhere he doesn’t want to go. The truth was, Hajime was making sure he was close enough to protect Tooru, even if that meant the other boy yanked him around. After all, an Alpha can always spot an Omega who needs them.</p><p>*		*<br/>
8 years old</p><p>“Watch the movie, you picked it!” Iwaizumi leans his head back on the couch, sighing. </p><p>“I thought it was going to be about basketball!” Oikawa whines, crossing his arms over his chest. </p><p>This was classic Oikawa behavior and Iwaizumi just shook his head. He did this every time they were to the video store, he rushes to a movie and picks it without reading what it’s about, just like today. He saw the word basketball and ran with it leaving an irritated Iwaizumi.</p><p>“Told you to read the back.”</p><p>Oikawa starts to mimic Iwa’s words when a pillow hits him across the face, halting the words from continuing. Iwaizumi get too caught up in laughing to realize that Oikawa has picked up the pillow and smacks it across the older boy’s face.</p><p>Iwa’s face scrunches up and he glares a bit at Oikawa whose eyes widen as he takes off towards his room, Iwa close behind him. He tries to shut the door, but Iwaizumi gets there a few seconds too quick and manages to force the door open. Oikawa jumps on his bed, pushing himself into the corner that’s against the wall when Iwaizumi smirks.</p><p>“Iwa-chan! I’m sorry!”</p><p>The boy with dark spiky hair just grabs a pillow with the same scary smirk on his face before whacking Oikawa repeatedly with it. Oikawa tries to protest but Iwaizumi just continues to pelt the younger boy until he finally grabs his own pillow, hitting his best friend back.</p><p>Oikawa manages to smack the pillow out of Iwa’s hands and goes to hit him again but Iwa tackles him, the two of them landing on the floor with a loud thump. Iwa pulls himself up on his knees looking at Oikawa who is sprawled out like a sea star. Raising an eyebrow, Iwa crawls over to his friend and leans over him slightly to see if he’s dead or just bring dramatic, knowing it’s more than likely the latter.</p><p>Oikawa opens his right eye ever so slightly to see what Iwa’s doing and when he’s leaning over his face, Oikawa springs up, pressing his lips against Iwa’s, who just freezes. A faint blush covers both of their cheeks as Iwa finally registers what happened before he falls back on his butt, signature scowl on his face.</p><p>“Why’d you do that?” </p><p>Oikawa shrugs, a small smile on his face. “The characters in the movie did it.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“I want us to be like them.” Oikawa’s smile widens as he throws his arms around Iwa’s neck, “’Cause I love Iwa-chan!”</p><p>*                      *<br/>
10 years old</p><p>Oikawa flops down on the grass, letting out a dramatic sigh. He’s in one of his moods, the one where he’s bored and could think of ten different things he’d rather be doing. He’s hot, sweaty, and sporting new scratch marks on his arms and legs compliments of bug hunting with Iwaizumi.</p><p>“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whines; he hates chasing after bugs. He hates bugs, he hates being sweaty, but he hates the idea of being away from his Iwa-chan even more.</p><p>“Oy!” Iwa’s tone is loud, louder than he’s intended and the look on Oikawa’s face tells him enough. </p><p>Iwaizumi turned 10 last month and presented as an Alpha which didn’t really surprise anyone. His parents were proud, even though to them it didn’t matter if he had been a Beta or an Omega; as long as Iwa was happy that’s all that mattered. But it didn’t come without complications. </p><p>The newly presented Alpha still isn’t able to keep his emotions in check. His scent and tone are cloaked with his emotions and he hasn’t learned to control those. Right now, his scent is thick and overwhelming while his tone is icy which is a lot for Oikawa to process, especially since he himself is days away from presenting himself.</p><p>Iwaizumi’s shoulder slump as he walks over and drops down to his best friend. Oikawa leans his head on Iwa’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around his pulled-up knees.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Iwaizumi doesn’t know why, but it hurts to know he upset Oikawa. Although lately, all Oikawa did was get upset and cry.</p><p>“I know.” Oikawa lets out a sigh, Iwa’s scent calming him. “I just don’t get why you catch bugs just to let them go. Seems like a waste of time.”</p><p>Iwaizumi shrugs, “They don’t live as long as we do, guess I just feel bad for them.”</p><p>*                      *<br/>
11 years old</p><p>“Are you sure about keeping the window cracked? It’s awfully cold outside.” Kana asks her son as she tucks him in. </p><p>“Yes, Momma.”</p><p>“Okay, sweetheart.” She presses a kiss to the side of his forehead.</p><p>An hour later she hears faint sounds and footsteps. Quietly, she creeps towards her son’s door and peeks through the small crack. She catches the sight of an Oikawa climbing through the window.</p><p>“Iwa-chan.” His voice is low, Kana isn’t sure her son hears him.</p><p>Iwa doesn’t say anything, rather he simply scoots over and lifts up the blanket; allowing Oikawa to climb in before pressing himself to his side. </p><p>Whenever he’s in distress, Oikawa naturally finds Iwaizumi. It’s almost like muscle memory at this point. He understands that his kind always look for Iwa’s kind, it was nature’s law, but if that’s all it was, why didn’t he just go to his dad? He was an Alpha too, but he never crossed his mind: it was always Iwa-chan.</p><p>She had overheard Oikawa telling her son about the nightmares he’d been having lately and she noticed how he stayed by Iwaizumi’s side until he had to be dragged back home. The small display didn’t surprise her; after all, an Omega can always find an Alpha that will take care of them.</p><p>*		*<br/>
12 years old</p><p>“Come on! Come on!” Oikawa calls out as he drags Iwa out of his house. He lifts his leg over the fence and Iwaizumi quickly catches him before he falls. Oikawa gives him a sheepish smile to which the Alpha just shakes his head.</p><p>“Slow down or you’re gonna get hurt, stupid.”</p><p>“But tonight’s the best night, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa drops to the other side, eagerly waiting for Iwaizumi to climb over before he starts to drag him again. Miyeko has laid out a blanket in the yard for the two boys.</p><p>Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa bounces on his feet, excitement vibrating through him and he can’t help but smile. He might not always like what the Omega drags him around to do or even want to do it, but to Iwa, it’s all worth it to see him smile.</p><p>“I know, I know.” He reaches out his hand for Oikawa to grab and is pulled over to the blanket. Oikawa quickly plops down, laying on the blanket, patting the empty space next to him. Iwaizumi opting to just sit next to him, looking over as the younger boy concentrates, brows knitting together as his eyes scan the sky above them. </p><p>His face lights up as he raises an arm pointing, “Iwa-chan, look! It’s Pegasus!”</p><p>Iwaizumi pulls his gaze from Oikawa to the sky and looks up at the cluster of stars. To be honest, he can’t see it even though for the last three weeks it’s all Oikawa’s been talking about. He’s shown the Alpha several pictures of the constellation, but now in the moment, Iwa just sees little white specks instead of some horse.</p><p>When Iwaizumi doesn’t respond, Oikawa turns to look at him and his face drops. Wasn’t Iwa-chan just as excited to see it as he was? His mom had told him before that not everyone likes the same things, that even best friends can like different stuff and still be best friends. But Oikawa loves everything Iwa-chan does, so didn’t that mean that Iwa-chan loves everything he does? </p><p>“You don’t like stars, do you?” His voice is low, a lump in his throat as he sits up. Oikawa didn’t want to Iwa-chan to like different things because that meant he might find someone else to share things with and Oikawa didn’t want to lose his Iwa-chan.</p><p>“Huh?” He looks over to see a very anxious Omega, who sweet scent has been replaced with a bitter one. He’s fidgeting with his hands, twisting them together repeatedly while looking away from the Alpha.</p><p>“Mom said you won’t always like what I like,” he chews on the inside of his cheek. “And I know, but I just thought you would, but if you don’t, I’m okay being alone.”</p><p>Iwaizumi looks at the sad, pathetic smile Oikawa gives him, trying to mask his emotions and maybe it was instincts or something more, but he doesn’t bother to try and figure it out. He grabs Oikawa’s wrist, pulling him closer to him before pressing a kiss on Oikawa’s lips, something the Omega quickly returns. </p><p>Neither of them said anything when they pull apart and Oikawa scoots away from Iwa and lays back down, eyes glued to the sky. A cool breeze passes by, wrapping around them both and brings a small shiver out of Oikawa.</p><p>“I told you to bring a jacket.” Iwa takes off his, handing it to Oikawa who quickly shoves his arms through it.</p><p>“I just got really excited to see Pegasus with you, Iwa-chan.” He gives Iwaizumi one of his lopsided smiles. </p><p>“Where it is? I can’t find it.” Iwa finally lays down, scooting close to the Omega’s side, who is already pointing at the constellation. Eventually he sees it, Oikawa eventually grabbing his arm and traces the pattern with his own hand in hopes it would help.</p><p>“Did you know it’s the seventh biggest constellation!?!” Oikawa blurts out and when Iwa tells him that he didn’t know that, the Omega begins to ramble off various facts about the constellation. That it takes up 1121 square degrees, how Pegasus came to be (from the neck of a beheaded Medusa), the brightest star in the constellation is named Epsilon Pegasi and it makes up the nose. </p><p>At some point, Iwa just closes his eyes, listening to Oikawa’s voice. The Alpha continues to listen to random facts about a bundle of stars that he doesn’t really care about, about a myth that he doesn’t need to really know, but what matters to him is Oikawa’s happiness and he can tell by the smile in his voice that the Omega is happy. So Iwa will lay there and listen, to whatever he has to say and tonight that just happens to be about a star constellation named Pegasus.</p><p>*                      *<br/>
13 years old</p><p>“What are you doing with all those things?” Kana asks her 13 years old son; Iwa struggles to get a good grip on the cardboard box in his arms. She lifts the flaps and sees a couple of his shirts, a hoodie, his favorite Godzilla plush, and some candy.</p><p>“Oikawa had a bad day and I thought he might like these things.” Iwa says, matter of fact.</p><p>“Why your hoodie?” She teases, his face burns red.</p><p>“He...uh…said my scent was…comforting.” He awkwardly looks away, “Can I go now, Mom?”</p><p>Sometimes Iwa doesn’t fully understand why he does somethings for Oikawa. It’s like his body just automatically reacts to his needs which confuses Iwa. He’s not like this with his other friends, just Oikawa and he can’t blame it on him being an Omega because he has other Omega friends. If you’d ask Iwa, he’d say he was okay with it because for some reason he doesn’t want Oikawa to lean on or need anyone else.</p><p>Kana nods as she watches him slip on his shoes and head next door. She smiles as she laughs softly to herself, wondering just how long it would take for her son to realize he had already found his Omega.</p><p>“Oikawa?” Iwa pushes the bedroom door open with his foot. He doesn’t see him at first, looking on his bed and by his desk, but the soft sobs from the closet grab his attention. The box gets set on the ground and he crawls next to Oikawa; a mess of tears and snot on his face. </p><p>Chances were someone made fun of Oikawa for being an Omega, most times he’ll just brush them off acting as if he can’t even hear them. Though there are a few times when that tough exterior cracks, his emotions leak through and he can’t help but get upset.</p><p>Oikawa doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to. Iwa quickly gets his hoodie out and passes it to him before letting Oikawa lean up against him. Oikawa doesn’t know how or why, but whenever he looks to his side for comfort, Iwa’s always knows to be there. He gets a fluttery feeling in his stomach when he thinks of Iwa being there which his mom told him were called butterflies. Ever since then, he wonders if Iwa gets butterflies thinking of him, hoping that he does.</p><p>An hour later, Miyeko and Kana walk into Oikawa’s room to find their sons asleep. Oikawa clinging to the Godzilla plush with his head on Iwa’s shoulder while Iwa’s head was resting on his friend’s head. The two women smile at each other and Miyeko thinks that as long as Oikawa has Iwaizumi, everything will turn out okay.</p><p>*                      *<br/>
14 years old</p><p>Iwaizumi is sitting on the floor, his back up against the side of his bed with Oikawa’s head in his lap, legs stretched out. His eyes are closed, so Iwa assumes he’s fallen asleep. Iwa brushes the mess of brown hair off Oikawa’s forehead, slowly taking in each of his features. Without giving it much thought, he leans forward just a bit to place a soft kiss on his forehead.</p><p>Throughout the years, their friendship consisted of tightly gripped hands with intertwined fingers, legs haphazardly tangled together while lying on the floor reading magazines or outside in the grass as they dream up imaginary lands. They’re filled with a poof of brown hair always finding Iwa’s broad shoulder after a long, tiring day and a long, lanky body curled tightly against his side. Filled with Iwa wiping away Oikawa’s tears and planting soft kisses on the band-aids that littered Oikawa’s arms and legs, just like his mom did to him.</p><p>His mom told him most of those actions are just Alpha instincts, but Iwa’s seen his parents hold hands, his mom falling asleep on his dad’s shoulder and his dad holds his mom tightly when she cries. She told him those were actions you do when you love someone which just confused the young Iwa because how was he supposed to separate instinct and love; especially when it came to Oikawa? He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t want those actions to be instinctual because he didn’t want to do them with anyone else.</p><p>And the longer he’d sit and think about it, the more confused he’d get and that just led to him being angry. He doesn’t like complicated things: catching bugs is simple, Godzilla is simple, volleyball is simple and being with Oikawa is simple. Or at least it used to be and right now, at 14, he just wants it to go back to simple.</p><p>His heart almost stops when he pulls back to see two big brown eyes looking at him. His cheeks start to burn unsure of how he’d explain himself. Maybe he wouldn’t have to because he could just say Oikawa dreamed it.</p><p>Oikawa watches Iwa stumble over his words before he pretends that he doesn’t know what Iwa was talking about which relieves his friend. Oikawa smiles to himself because now he knows that Iwa-chan gets butterflies too and he’d just wait until he was ready to tell him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. habromania</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>habromania: delusions of happiness</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Japan – 2009/2010</p><p>Though when they go to high school, things rapidly start to change between the two. It started off when Iwaizumi got more irritated with Oikawa’s nickname for him, saying they were too old for childish nicknames. He started telling Oikawa that he wasn’t allowed to sit with his head on his shoulder in public anymore and that he couldn’t just walk up behind him and wrap his arms around him. That he couldn’t just whine and get his way when it came to Iwa anymore.</p><p>Oikawa wasn’t sure what sparked the sudden changes until he overheard Iwaizumi talking to other Alphas. He had planned on joining them until his name came up and Oikawa stops and just listens.</p><p>“I don’t know how you do it, Iwaizumi.”</p><p>He just shrugs, “we’ve been friends since we were little.”</p><p>Friends? Only friends?</p><p>“Still, how are you ever gonna find an Omega smelling like that?” A fellow first year says.</p><p>“Someone shinier will catch his eye and I’ll be fine.” Iwa shrugs again.</p><p>The bell for class rings, preventing the conversation from going any further, but Oikawa had heard enough. He still isn’t sure what his feelings mean, but he has always thought that Iwa felt the same, that he got butterflies too. But with what he’s just heard, he can’t help but think maybe Iwa finds him more of a burden than anything else.</p><p>Someone shiner will catch his eye. Iwaizumi’s words play over and over in his mind as he walks to class. Is that how his best friend saw him? Just someone with a short attention span, moving from bright thing to bright thing like a small kid on a playground? Or did he see him as some young and immature friend? Friend. Just thinking of that word makes Oikawa feel ill and remembering how easily it slipped off Iwaizumi’s lips made him feel like crawling in a hole.</p><p>“It’s him!”</p><p>“It’s Oikawa!”</p><p>“He’s so dreamy!”</p><p>Oikawa looks around before finding a small group of mostly Omegas but a few Betas whispering and all becoming more flustered when they noticed they had his attention. He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes as he makes his signature peace sign causing them all the laugh and giggle before heading to class. If Iwaizumi thinks that Oikawa just goes to the newest toy in the toy box, maybe that’s how he’ll act from now on.</p><p>*                      *<br/>Iwaizumi is getting more and more irritated before he finally slams his water bottle down. If he was anywhere near Oikawa, he instantly got a headache from the obnoxious pack of fans Oikawa seems to have acquired. They followed him everywhere; to the vending machines, to his locker, to class, to lunch, to practice and all the way to the school gate when it was time to head home. The giggles and overlapping voices were all enough to drive the Alpha up a wall and what didn’t help was Oikawa’s scent.</p><p>Alphas, Betas and Omegas all have distinctive scents and the type of scent varies on the sub-gender. Iwaizumi was once told that his scent is the same as dirt after it rains, a fresh but earthy scent. Most Omegas have a sweet scent like flowers, fruits or candies, and like with everything else in life, Oikawa just has to be different.</p><p>Oikawa had a rare smell for an Omega; he smells like honey. Being rare, it came with two-sides of the same coin. Betas and other Omegas found it calming making him a central spot for comfort whereas it was highly desirable to Alphas which meant there would be a line of Alphas trying for his attention. Others with a honey scent stayed away from large crowds to decrease any issues that could arise, but Oikawa isn’t like many and is constantly the center of some group.</p><p>It drives Iwaizumi crazy with how reckless Oikawa tends to be and he’s almost positive if it wasn’t for them spending so much time together and his scent on Oikawa, there’d be more issues. Especially since these groups of fans constantly compliment and praise him making the scent he gives off even sweeter.</p><p>Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi, finally registering that he slammed his water bottle. “Is Iwa-chan okay?”</p><p>Iwa stands up, shoving his chair into the table, “I told you not to call me that.”</p><p>Through his life Iwaizumi has been used to Oikawa’s charm and how the aftermath of that charm was constant attention from others. But it was the annoying chirping of voices that flooded over his senses that drove him mad. The sounds weaseled their way into his subconscious and ate away at him. His whole life, Iwaizumi has never felt he was good enough to stand next to Oikawa, or more so that he didn’t let himself feel like he was enough. </p><p>That is practically unheard of from an Alpha; feeling that they couldn’t equally stand next to an Omega. But the thing about Oikawa is he stands in a league of his own, sub-gender status be damned. So how dare he allow himself to feel so insecure over an Omega that didn’t look in his direction. The very same Omega that only seems to care about is the attention giving Beta or Omega in front of him. At least there haven't been any Alphas.</p><p>One day it will be an Alpha, Iwa. </p><p>He kicks the vending machine in front of him, getting a few unfriendly glances from those around him. He sighs, grabbing his drink from the machine before walking back towards the courtyard where they’d be eating lunch.</p><p>Iwaizumi watches Oikawa basking in the attention from the group that’s constantly around him. He’s in his element, the center of attention is basically Oikawa’s middle name. It’s moments like these when Iwaizumi realizes that Oikawa is just fine without him; shaking his head he walks towards the gym, the only place he actually holds Oikawa’s attention.</p><p>He’s not clueless on the fact that Oikawa will eventually meet an Alpha or two, that he’ll mate with someone, share a mark with someone; he just wishes that it would end up being him. He remembers a time when being with Oikawa was easy, when being just friends was easy, before expectations and realities blew through their world like a hurricane wrecking everything in its path. Winds came through and blew away the lines that were drawn then rain came and washed away the childish nature of hand holding, intertwined legs and stolen glances that lasted too long. Then the worst part came, the eye of the storm, allowing Iwa to safely embrace those massive changes at least until the storm returned, leaving him confused and alone.  </p><p>To the large group of fans surrounding him, it looks as though he’s just smiling and being friendly, but on the inside, Oikawa is counting. He knows if there’s no one at the vending machine it takes Iwaizumi around 148 seconds to come back and if he has to wait, it’s closer to 272 seconds. Oikawa knows Iwaizumi like the back of his hand, but here he is, close to 400 seconds and there’s no Iwa-chan coming back. Panic settles in his chest, anchoring itself as it wraps around his ribs like roots because no matter how much he looks around, he can’t find him.</p><p>For as long as Oikawa can remember, Iwaizumi has never been more than two steps away from him; always within arm’s reach. The Omega has taken comfort in that over the years, getting accustomed to the Alpha always being where Oikawa needs him. Internally, he knows it’s not rational to fret, they are at school and Iwaizumi is safe. But externally, his scent is starting to heavily coat the air and space around him, his body naturally sending out a distress call. </p><p>Hanamaki and Matsukawa share a brief look, as Betas they couldn’t pick up on scents but they could see an increase in Alphas gathering around and the anxious fiddling Oikawa was doing with the bottom of his shirt. Hanamaki gets up, scanning the courtyard before he spots Iwaizumi, breaking out in a quick jog.</p><p>“Oikawa needs you.”</p><p>Iwaizumi shakes his head, “I’m sure he doesn’t. He has his fan group.”</p><p>Hanamaki suppresses an eyeroll, grabbing Iwa’s shirt, “random Alphas are starting to show up, it seems he’s upset.”</p><p>Panic coats Iwaizumi’s face as he sprints back to where Oikawa is, immediately picking up on the almost suffocating scent the Omega is letting off. He pushes pass a few people before reaching out, grabbing Oikawa’s arm as he calls out his name.</p><p>Oikawa turns around quickly, throwing his arms around Iwaizumi, the weight in his chest disappearing as he breathes in the earthy scent the Alpha has. Iwaizumi wants to pull him off, to tell him that they are at school and it’s not appropriate, but all he can do is wrap an arm around the shaking Omega.</p><p>“Iwa-chan, I got so worried! You didn’t come back in time.” Oikawa buries his face into the curve of Iwa’s next, his nose brushing the Alpha’s scent glands. Iwaizumi notes that Oikawa’s scent is starting to get back to normal now, a few of those gathered around wondering off.</p><p>“It’s almost time for class.” Iwaizumi tries to pull away but Oikawa doesn’t let him, holding him tightly. “Oi! Dumbass, let go.”</p><p>“Just a minute more, Iwa-chan,” he pulls back looking at Iwa who notices the Omega’s eyes are red from crying. “Please.”</p><p>Iwaizumi lets out a deep sigh before nodding, he knows he shouldn’t, not if he’s ever going to be able to let Oikawa go, to even let himself be happy with someone else, but this one time couldn’t hurt, right?</p><p>But he couldn’t have been more wrong, for the almost month that followed that incident, Oikawa seemed to all but cling to the Alpha. The boundaries that Iwa tried to set when they entered high school went completely out the window, Oikawa always had some part of him touching Iwa no matter where they were. If they were at lunch, his head was on his shoulder, walking home from practice, his arm was either looped with Iwa’s or their shoulders constantly brushed against the others. The only place he was safe from Oikawa was practice, but he was almost certain Oikawa would figure out a way to be clung to him there too. </p><p>“Where’s Oikawa?” Iwa asks, already irritated that the Omega is late to walk to practice.</p><p>Matsukawa shrugs, but it’s Hanamaki who points over to the courtyard. The three all look as some Omega stands in front of Oikawa, nervously shifting her weight between her feet. He flashes her his signature smile which seems to just make her even more nervous. The other three watch as she digs through her bag, pulling out a small box.</p><p>“Is that…” Matsukawa starts to ask before Hanamaki answers him, “a love confession? Yup.”</p><p>Iwaizumi stands there, not liking the way his stomach flops when he watches this girl extend both arms out, a candy box in her open palms. He starts to worry, panic even that Oikawa will accept the confession, would he? Why wouldn’t he? He swallows thickly, tightly gripping the railing in front of him, knuckles turning white. The Alpha won’t admit it, but he’d trade places with her in a heartbeat, to be able to have the courage to tell Oikawa her feelings is what Iwa’s jealous of the most. </p><p>Oikawa gives her a sympathetic smile and the other three know immediately how he’s responded, the two Betas quickly catching the relief that washes over Iwaizumi. He steps forward when the female Omega’s head drops, her shoulders shaking slightly before Oikawa wraps her in a hug. They aren’t sure what he said to her, but she quickly jerks her head up, nodding it repeatedly before she walks off.</p><p>*                      *<br/>Practice has been over for a while, but Iwaizumi is still waiting by the gym doors for Oikawa to finally come out of the locker room. For a brief moment he’s tempted to leave the Omega behind, but he knows the dumbass would probably get distracted locking up and end up practicing serves again.</p><p>“I’m ready to go, Iwa-chan!” </p><p>Iwaizumi shakes his head, slightly annoyed at the sing-songy way he’s said the nickname Iwa has all but demanded he stop using, but also glad that it’s something only he can have from Oikawa.</p><p>Oikawa picks up his pace until his shoulder is brushing Iwa’s, linking his arm through the Alpha’s, causing him to stumble as he pulls him closer. Iwaizumi doesn’t want to bring up the love confession he witnessed, to be fair he’d lost count on how many Oikawa had gotten this semester alone, but it felt like an elephant in the room. </p><p>“What was that, your fifth confession this week?” Iwaizumi tries to let it come off playfully, but between his scent being tangled with worry and his dry tone, it falls flat.</p><p>He nuzzles his face against Iwa’s arm, “Iwa-chan’s the only one I need.” You’re the only one I want even though I’m terrified to actually tell you that. </p><p>He wants to let those words reassure him that for some crazy reason Oikawa feels the same way about him. He wants those words to mean exactly what they sound like, to hold a deep meaning and not just some basic playful remark. But he can’t do that because he knows they are just empty words that Oikawa doesn’t realize actually hurt more than they comfort because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa can’t possibly feel the same.</p><p>“You could’ve at least given her a chance, she seems nice.” I don’t mean that, I don’t want you to do that. </p><p>“You want me to date some Omega because she seems nice?” But I don’t want her, I want you.</p><p>“Date whoever, I don’t care who.”</p><p>Oikawa snatches his arm from Iwa’s, a pissed off expression meets Iwa’s nonchalant one. “Maybe I will then.”</p><p>“What do I care?” He regrets the words as soon as he lets them slip out of his mouth, but the alternative, confessing himself just isn’t an option.</p><p>“Fine! Maybe I’ll find an Alpha that’s better than you!” He shouts, a bitter scent radiates off of him. Fuck, I didn’t mean that. </p><p>“Go ahead and try.” Don’t you know that’s my biggest fear? I know it won’t be hard for you to.</p><p>*                      *<br/>It’s just a few weeks later that Oikawa makes good on his words, well kinda. It wasn’t an Alpha, but he did finally accept the confession from a Beta. And while he smiles and takes the chocolates offered to him, something in him feels empty, even though accepting someone’s confession should make you feel full and happy. </p><p>It doesn’t take long for word to spread and before lunch, Iwaizumi has already learned that Oikawa is “off the market” as his fan group put it. He sat and listens as everyone complains about the Beta he’s chosen, how she’s not fitting for him and Iwa agrees, but simply because it’s not himself.</p><p>“Iwa-chan! I have someone for you to meet!” The Omega smiles, almost singing the words that he’s saying.</p><p>The Alpha just lets out an annoyed grunt, Hanamaki and Matsukawa offer somewhat smiles to the shy Beta that’s clinging to Oikawa’s side. </p><p>“This is Yui-chan!” He smiles as he gently pulls her to sit down next time, but it’s one of his fake smiles. She politely waves to the other three before she starts to eat her lunch, engaging in small talk with Oikawa and the Betas. </p><p>Iwaizumi mentally checks out of the conversation, not really caring where she’s from or which class she’s in. Maybe it was him feeling full of himself or the fact that he knew Oikawa better than anyone, but he already had a strong feeling that Yui wasn’t going to be around that long.</p><p>**<br/>As the weeks pass, Iwaizumi wonders if he has read the everything wrong. If Oikawa had actually been serious about finding someone better than him, even if this person was a Beta. </p><p>Yui has become a regular at their lunch table, she walks with Oikawa during breaks and meets him at his locker, she’s become a staple at their volleyball games. Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa eats up the attention that she gives him, the attention that Iwa had been giving Oikawa since they were little, the attention the Omega clearly had been overlooking. </p><p>There’s a feeling burying itself in Iwa’s chest, jealousy. Jealous that Yui gets to cling to Oikawa, jealous that she can hold his hand and kiss his cheek. Matsukawa raises an eyebrow as he watches Iwa start to shake his head, an attempt to erase the thoughts. If that’s who Oikawa’s wants, why should he care? He shouldn’t, there’s plenty of Omegas out there and people don’t stay friends forever so their friendship was bound to end, right? Iwaizumi likes to think of himself as an Alpha who isn’t all for the traditional relationship standards that are set on Alphas and Omegas. He likes to think that he’s meant to find someone that can be his equal and he knows that it’s not possible to have that with Oikawa. Oikawa is in a league of his own, even as an Omega, he has a strong presence and commands the room, Iwaizumi would fall into his shadow and as much as he tries not to let his sub-gender dictate his emotions, his Alpha nature refuses to accept that.</p><p>**<br/>“Iwaizumi-kun!”</p><p>He turns around, seeing Yui waving at him as she runs over to him and he sighs. It’s been close to three months since Oikawa accepted Yui’s confession, it’s taken longer than he’d admit but he was finally okay about the whole thing, he simply refuses to allow himself to care anymore.</p><p>He nods as she gets closer before he turns his attention back to the contents of his locker, hoping she was just passing by and felt obligated to say hello since he was Oikawa’s best friend.</p><p>“Iwaizumi-kun,” she leans her back against the locker next to his, tilting her head to the side as she tries to see his face, “you don’t like me, do you?”</p><p>He freezes, the notebook in his hand hits his foot before falling on the ground. He finally looks over at her, “huh?”</p><p>She gives him a soft smile, one he doesn’t deserve because he knows he’s been nothing but rude to her, well not outright rude, but his demeanor and attitude was icy towards her. Yui pushes off the locker, rocking on her feet, back and forth, “if I was in your position, I don’t think I’d like me either.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns away from her, squatting down to pick up the notebook.</p><p>“You like Oikawa.”</p><p>His feelings for the Omega have always been silent, unspoken, but somehow hearing them spoken so casually made the reality of the situation hurt that much more. He slowly stands up, clenching the notebook a bit too hard, the pages crinkle under his fingers. </p><p>“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He closes the locker, harder than he intended, the Beta flinching at the loud bang.</p><p>“I’m not going to say anything. It’s not my place to tell him your feelings.” </p><p>Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, his head hanging down, eyes staring holes into his shoes. Why did hearing her say all of this hurt? Why was she being so kind to him when he couldn’t return that kindness? How was he supposed to tell her that it wasn’t that he doesn’t like her, but he just doesn’t think she’s right for him?</p><p>“It…it’s just not that simple.”</p><p>She gives him a sweet smile, one that reminds him of how warm the sun feels on his face during the summer. “I know.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be, we can’t help who we have feelings for.” She placing a comforting hand on his upper arm, “you have it the hardest, watching him fall for other people.”</p><p>He lifts his head up to speak, but Yui is already halfway down the hallway, happily waving to their fellow classmates. He presses his forehead on the locker door, letting out a deep breath, trying to calm down. Externally he seems calm, maybe even a little tired, but internally he’s a mess and a half. If he couldn’t tell Oikawa his feelings, if he chose to stay in friends only, would he be able to watch Oikawa fall in love with someone else? How long would he be able to stay by his side, helping him through heartbreaks and crushes before it just became to overbearing for the Alpha? </p><p>*		*<br/>Those questions seem to dig deeper into him over the next several months. Shortly after Yui and Iwaizumi spoke, she ended things with Oikawa blaming it on her mother’s job transfer and the fact she was moving soon, but based on the small nod she had given him in the hallway, Iwa had a feeling she was trying to help him. Oikawa simply brushed it off and Hanamaki refused to pass up every chance to joke that Oikawa had been dumped. </p><p>For a bit, things felt like they went back to normal, just the four of them hanging out together and Oikawa found his place back by Iwaizumi’s side, even if it wasn’t in the same way it had been with Yui. For now, Iwa just wanted the Omega to need him, to depend on him. Then Oikawa got another confession and he seemed to rotate through various Betas and Omegas every few weeks.</p><p>For some reason this time it really hurts Iwaizumi to just watch Oikawa give the same kind of attention to multiple people, to see Oikawa just effortlessly switch between people when Iwaizumi couldn’t imagine looking at anyone the way he looks at Oikawa. Maybe that’s what it means to stay friends with someone you feel so deeply for? To swallow down the burning sensation to scream, to pretend that he fully supported whoever Oikawa decided to settle down with.</p><p>*		*<br/>“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa rushes into the Alpha’s room, not bothering to knock as always.</p><p>Iwaizumi doesn’t respond, he rolls over, grabbing his spare pillow and pressing it against his ear to muffle out the energetic chatter coming from the brunette. It is Sunday, it is early, but most important it is his only day off and he just wants to sleep in. Suddenly he feels a heavy weight on his side, realizing that Oikawa is sitting on his hip.</p><p>“Iwa-chan! Wake up!” Oikawa starts bouncing, further irritating Iwa, who throws the pillow at Oikawa as he shifts underneath him, sitting up.</p><p>Iwaizumi rubs his eyes before registering that Oikawa is sitting on his lap now, the back of the Alpha’s neck starts to burn. “What do you want, Shittykawa?”</p><p>Oikawa’s eyes widen, he places a hand on his chest as he gasps, “is that any way to talk to your heart broken best friend?”</p><p>“You don’t look that broken up about whatever you’re talking about.”</p><p>“I got stood up,” he pretends to sniffle but gets zero sympathy from Iwaizumi. The truth is that Oikawa cancelled the date, in fact he had ended the relationship a few days ago with Ryu, but didn’t bother to say anything.</p><p>He didn’t know how to explain it, but no matter who he dated, no matter how many relationships he got into, he just felt empty. None of them had given him that carefree and bubbly warmth that he gets around Iwa, that feeling that time both freezes and speeds up when they are together. He knows that any minute Iwaizumi will shove him off his bed, he’ll grumble about having been woken up, but he won’t make Oikawa leave. Instead Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi will get up and dressed and spend the day with him which is what he’s been wanting for months.</p><p>**<br/>Iwaizumi grabs his phone and wallet, reaching out a hand to pull Oikawa off the floor, the ever so dramatic Omega refused to get up after he was pushed to the floor. The Omega has a bounce in his step now, the two walking outside, the autumn breeze sending a chill around them.</p><p>“You haven’t done that in a while.”</p><p>“Done what?” Oikawa looks up at Iwaizumi.</p><p>“Smile a real smile.”</p><p>Oikawa turns his head away quickly, blush covering his cheeks before he interlocks his arm with Iwa’s, pressing his face into the Alpha’s bicep. It was true, every smile he’s worn recent has been empty, just some shell of the gesture when the situation called for it. The smile deepens as his face stays pressed into Iwaizumi’s arm, a warmth filling his chest that even when they felt miles apart from each other, his Iwa-chan still knew him better than anyone else.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. eccedentesiast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>eccedentesiast: one who hides behind a smile</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <i> Japan – 2010 </i></b>
  
</p>
<p>“Who’s that?” Oikawa nudges Matsukawa’s side causing him to frown.</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“Her! With Iwa-chan!” Oikawa starts to get uneasy with the display, she keeps brushing up against Iwa’s arm, trying to discreetly leave her scent which causes the setter’s heart to sink.</p>
<p>While he’s always been aware of his feelings for Iwaizumi, it was only recently that the depth of those feelings smacked into his life a tidal wave and ever since then, Oikawa can’t seem to catch his breath. He’s tried to tell his best friend for a few weeks now, ever since he ended things with Ryu, but the fear of what he could lose held him back. How could he risk a 16-years old friendship for a feeling that might not be reciprocated? </p>
<p>“Oh. That’s Kaneko Himari, second year transfer.” Matsukawa answers plainly.</p>
<p>“She’s with Iwa-chan because…?” Oikawa’s voice drips with annoyance, his scent flaring up which causes a few surrounding Alphas and Omegas to take notice. </p>
<p>“Because he’s single and an Alpha?” Hanamaki says as Matsukawa shoots him a look to just stop talking. </p>
<p>“I think she’s just asking him for directions.” Matsukawa tries to comfort the Omega. It didn’t take a genius to see how devastated and pitiful Oikawa’s expression was. </p>
<p>“Or not. Ow—” Matsukawa slaps Hanamaki in the back of the head but the damage has already been done. </p>
<p>Oikawa’s whole world stops; Iwa and Kaneko are exchanging numbers and did he just see Iwa laugh? His mouth dries and he feels like running, but he’s only ever known to run to Iwa, who by the looks of it is too busy for him. He snatches his bag and takes off, no real destination in mind just the need to be as far away from them as possible.</p>
<p>He doesn’t understand what this feeling is in his chest. This suffocating feeling of potentially losing Iwaizumi. Was this how Iwaizumi felt when Oikawa had dated someone? No because Iwa had never shown interest in anyone before, or maybe that’s why he was feeling his way. Perhaps Iwa had been showing interest and it just wasn’t in him, wasn’t towards him. He feels himself start to shake, the heaviness of Iwa not sharing the same feelings for him finally weighing him down.</p>
<p>Oikawa doesn’t know how to be just Oikawa. It’s always been either Oikawa and Iwaizumi or Iwaizumi and Oikawa, although he prefers it the first way more. He doesn’t like the idea of it being Iwaizumi and whatever her name was with his name at the end like some afterthought because Oikawa Tooru was not anyone’s afterthought. </p>
<p>*                      *<br/>
It's been several weeks since Oikawa watched as Iwaizumi exchanged numbers with the female Omega whose name he still refuses to try to remember. Oikawa likes to act like he didn’t give the exchange a second thought after he walked off that day, but if he’s honest, it’s one of the only things he can think about.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi’s phone starts ringing in the locker room as everyone is finishing getting ready to head home for the night. Oikawa discreetly glances over to the wing spiker who is completely occupied with whatever is on his screen. There isn’t necessarily tension in the air, but Matsukawa is quick to pick up on some awkwardness especially since Iwaizumi is hardly seen with his phone and for once, Oikawa is being quiet.</p>
<p>Hanamaki, either not picking up on it or just ignoring the weirdness, decides to sneak up before Iwaizumi and places his chin on his shoulder, “who has you all flustered?”</p>
<p>The sound of a dropped phone fills the room from Iwa jumping and frantically swiping his phone off the ground. There’s a faint yet dark enough line of red across his cheeks as he stammers over his words, saying it was just someone asking for the homework assignment.</p>
<p>Hanamaki doesn’t seem to believe him and snatches the phone out of his hand, running behind Matsukawa for protection as Iwa tries to grab his phone back. Oikawa stands there, a heavy pit in his stomach, for all the years Iwa’s had a phone not once had he ever cared if someone went through it nor had he looked so threatening when trying to retrieve it.</p>
<p>“Ohhh! Texting that second year Omega, eh?” Hanamaki teases as he jumps out of reach when Iwa lunges towards him.</p>
<p>“Stop it. Give it back Hanamaki.” Iwa pleads as he watches Hanamaki smirk before typing away at the screen.</p>
<p>“Ha!” He tosses the phone back to Iwa who catches it, “looks like Iwa has a date Saturday.”</p>
<p>The room completely freezes and Oikawa worries they’d be able to hear his heart pounding. Matsukawa quickly catches Oikawa’s expression or more like the sea of emotions that wash over him in almost an instant: hurt, anger, confusion and what might have been relief. The slam of Oikawa’s locker draws everyone's attention as he hurries to grab his bags before walking out without another word.</p>
<p>“What’s with him?” Iwaizumi asks which gets him an eye roll from Matsukawa, confusing the Alpha even more.</p>
<p>“Maybe he’s worried about losing all of his Iwa-chan’s attention.” Hanamaki teases right before Iwaizumi shoves him back, grabbing his bag before he follows after his best friend.</p>
<p>“Oi! Shittykawa!” He calls out, jogging across the gym floor, eyes scanning around the room for him, realizing that he’s already outside.</p>
<p>He calls out to him again, but Oikawa just continues to walk, ignoring Iwa’s calls. It’s not until Iwa’s hand is heavy on his shoulder, pulling him back slightly so that the Omega stops walking.</p>
<p>“What’s up with you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Oikawa drops the shoulder Iwa’s hand is on so that it falls before he starts walking again.</p>
<p>“Stop being a dumbass.” He increases his pace to match Oikawa’s, “tell me.”</p>
<p> <i> What does she have that I don’t? Why didn’t you show interest in me, but you do in her? </i> “I’m just tired.” He hopes that Iwa picks up on what he really means, showing him that he still knows him better than anyone, but he doesn’t.</p>
<p>“I told you to stop overdoing it. You’re gonna get hurt.” </p>
<p>“Aw, is Iwa-chan worried about me?” He smiles at Iwa, the same one that Iwa’s fallen in love with over the years. The one that’s real, sincere and not shown to many; the one that could bring him to his knees.</p>
<p>“Friends worry about each other, don’t they?” The platonic term leaves such a bitter taste on his tongue that he wants to spit it back out. But that’s all they’ll ever be, so what other word would he use?</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess they do.”  <i> Friends? I really do hate that word. </i></p>
<p>
  They walk in silence for the majority of their way home. Oikawa’s finally the one who breaks it, speaking up first and about the elephant in the room.
</p>
<p>
  “What do you have planned for Saturday?” He expands when Iwaizumi looks at him confused, “for your date?”
</p>
<p>
  “Oh, uhm…” He runs his fingers through his hair, “I was thinking of a movie?”  <i> Tell me it’s stupid. Tell me to cancel and I will. </i>
</p>
<p>
  “How very first date of you, Iwa-chan. Simple and predictable, much like you.”  <i> I don’t mean that. You aren’t those things, I just wish you were taking me. 
</i></p><p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  “Heh.” Was he predictable? Him falling for Oikawa didn’t feel predictable to him, but it is predictable that Oikawa wouldn’t feel the same. And simple? He had only picked the movies because everywhere else would be better for taking Oikawa. 
</p>
<p>
 The planetarium? Iwa could listen to Oikawa talk about aliens and space for hours. 
</p>
<p>
 The ramen shop down the street? It was one of Oikawa’s favorites.
</p>
<p>
  The lake that’s 10-minutes away from Oikawa’s on a bike? They spent their childhood afternoons there.
</p>
<p>
 Iwaizumi has spent years thinking of the perfect first date, but in his mind, it had never been for just any Omega, it had always been meant for Oikawa. 
</p>
<p>
  *                      *<br/>
Oikawa’s been laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, tossing a volleyball up and down ever since dinner was over. He isn’t sure how to feel, he thought that it would be obvious he wasn’t really interested in dating if he didn’t date an Alpha, that Iwa would realize that. But even if he didn’t directly say it, Iwaizumi always seemed to support Oikawa’s relationships, maybe it was time for Oikawa to support Iwa. But can you support someone when you can’t be fully happy for them? 
</p>
<p>
  His thoughts are interrupted by his mother knocking on his door, the volleyball smacking him in the face as it falls.
</p>
<p>
  “Tooru?” She smiles when his brown eyes meet hers. “I was thinking of making some Agedashi Tofu this weekend, why don’t you invite Iwaizumi over?”
</p>
<p>
  “He can’t come.” 
</p>
<p>
  “Well you won’t know until you ask, honey.”
</p>
<p>
  “He has a date. He won’t be able to come.” He looks away from her, eyes focusing on the ball in his hands.
</p>
<p>
  “Oh.” Miyeko isn’t sure what to do, the sad look on her son’s face is enough to break her heart, “he can always come after, yeah?”
</p>
<p>
  Oikawa looks up at his mom, shrugging, “yeah I guess. I’ll ask him.”
</p>
<p>
  His mother gives him one more smile before she closes the door behind her and Oikawa slumps down on his bed again. He’s annoyed, he doesn’t like the way that he feels, wanting things to go back to how they were as kids. When they were the only two people in their little universe and nothing else mattered.
</p>
<p>
  *                      *<br/>
“Iwaizumi-kun!” 
</p>
<p>
  He smiles when he sees Kaneko walking over to him, waving at him. This was how things should be, right? Him going out with an Omega that he didn’t grow up with, spending time learning about them rather than just knowing the other person.
</p>
<p>
  “Hey Kaneko-san.”
</p>
<p>
  “Himari.” She blushes, “you can call me Himari.”
</p>
<p>
  He feels his cheeks start to burn, heart thumping in his chest so loudly that he can’t hear anything, but the sound of his own heartbeat. He couldn’t think of anyone that he calls by their given name other than family members, he’s known Oikawa their whole lives and still calls him by his family name.
</p>
<p>
  “Or not, I’m sorry.” She starts to rock back and forth on her heels, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. “My mom says not everyone feels comfortable doing that.”
</p>
<p>
  He starts to panic as her peachy scent starts to dull and he’s unsure of what to do. Whenever Oikawa would get upset when they were kids, he’d just pull him into a hug, but he wasn’t certain that would be okay. 
</p>
<p>
  Quickly and without much thought, Iwa wraps his hand around hers, smiling when their eyes meet. Her scent starts to sweeten as she wraps her hand around his, swinging it slightly as they walked towards the theatre. All of her friends told her that a movie date was lame, but sitting next to Iwa, arms gently brushing on the shared armrest while she watched his facial expressions change during the movie scenes, it’s one of the best days of her life. 
</p>
<p>
  **<br/>
As they walk down the street together, the cool air wraps around them, causing Himari to shiver just slightly, partially hoping that Iwa didn’t notice, embarrassment creeping across her cheeks.
</p>
<p>
  “Here.” She glances over to see him handing her his jacket and she quickly slips her arms into the sleeves.
</p>
<p>
 “Thank you,” she looks at her shoes, feeling a tad awkward. “My mom said to bring one but I felt it would mess up my outfit.”
</p>
<p>
  When she looks back up, Iwa notices the bright pink blush that coats her cheeks and he can’t help but smile. “You did look nice today.” He feels his own cheeks heat up as he replays his own words in his head.
</p>
<p>
  The default ringtone of Iwa’s phone starts going off and he gives her an apologetic look before quickly ignoring the call.
</p>
<p>
  “Even with your jacket?” She bites down on her bottom lip, a bundle of butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
</p>
<p>
  “Definitely in my jacket.” He reaches down, tangling his fingers with hers and they walk towards her house. For a first date, he thinks it went well, even if a movie date doesn’t allow for much talking, but a second date could be used for that, right? He can’t help but smile, he really enjoyed his time with Himari, being around her felt easy and refreshing, even if he said some pretty cheesy things.
</p>
<p>
  Himari’s reluctant to let his hand go, even when they’ve stopped walking in front of her house. She had told him that she would be fine just walking alone, but deep down was excited that their date didn’t have to end just yet. She starts to thank him again for the date, but his phone starts ringing, interrupting her.
</p>
<p>
  “One second.” He takes the phone out of his pocket, clicking decline before refocusing on his date, “sorry about that.”
</p>
<p>
  She smiles up at him, “thank you for today. I had a really good time.”
</p>
<p>
  Iwaizumi rubs the back of his neck nervously, “I did too. Next time we can go somewhere that we can talk.”
</p>
<p>
  “Next time?” She tilts her head to the side, a bashful smile on her face. 
</p>
<p>
 Iwa freezes, completely embarrassed with how he must have come across, just assuming that she would want to go out again. Even though he knew the movies was considered lame for a date, he's still unsure of how to do things without Oikawa, trying to learn how to interact with someone he doesn’t know like the back of his hand. 
</p>
<p>
  “I-uh…only if you want, I mean.”
</p>
<p>
  “Of course I would!” Her smile widens, a giggle escaping her when she sees Iwaizumi’s shoulders drop in relief as he sighs. “I should head inside though."
</p>
<p>
  “Oh, yeah! Have a good night.” Iwa reluctantly drops her hand, the missing weight feeling odd.
</p>
<p>
  “Text me when you get home?” She asks and he nods before turning to leave after walking her up to her door. She calls his name and when he turns around plants a chaste kiss on his cheek. “I really did have a great time today. See you at school!”
</p>
<p>
  Iwa watches as she waves before disappearing behind the door, his chest feeling tight as his hand touches the place she kissed him. 
</p>
<p>
  **<br/>
“Oh, Hajime-kun! Tooru didn’t tell me you were coming!” Miyeko glances over at her son whose eyes are still locked on the phone in his hand.
</p>
<p>
  Iwaizumi’s phone goes off, but before he can check the ID, Oikawa stands up, “looks like your phone isn’t broken.”
</p>
<p>
  Miyeko looks between the two boys as Oikawa wraps the blanket that’s around his shoulder tightly around him and heads out back.
</p>
<p>
  “I’m sure he’s just feeling left out. He’ll come around.” She smiles and Iwa nods telling her that he’d go and talk to Oikawa.
</p>
<p>
  Iwa makes his way through the living room and kitchen before sliding the glass doors open. At first, he doesn’t see Oikawa but the soft breeze causes Iwa’s attention to land on the Omega’s cowlick, the sweet scent of honey faintly clinging to the breeze. He sits next to Oikawa, who is wrapped up in his alien blanket, refusing to acknowledge the Alpha. Instead, his eyes stay fixated on the night’s sky, acting as if it’s not a cloudy night and he can see any stars.
</p>
<p>
  “Flaring out your pheromones isn’t going to make me less mad.” His eyes stay on the sky.
</p>
<p>
  “Not even just a little?”
</p>
<p>
  Oikawa turns to face Iwaizumi, immediately wishing that he hadn’t. He couldn’t stay mad at the Alpha, not when he looked at him with that lop-sided grin, hair disheveled and a small faint line of blush on the tops of his cheeks. How did the Omega even stand a chance when an Alpha like Iwaizumi Hajime had the audacity to look at him like that? 
</p>
<p>
  Iwa smirks when Oikawa scoffs and rolls his eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t answer.”
</p>
<p>
  Oikawa just shrugs, “it’s whatever.”
</p>
<p>
  The weight of where Iwaizumi was and who he was with weighed down on them, making the cool night air feel suffocating. It isn’t that they avoided talking about the date or Kaneko, but somehow ever since Hanamaki sent the text, it had become an unspoken topic between the Alpha and Omega even though the pair normally shared everything with each other. 
</p>
<p>
  Iwa shifts a bit uncomfortably, unsure of how to continue. He had been excited on his way home to tell someone about his date, but when he looked at Oikawa, all that confidence faltered. Just seeing the slight-pout with the Omega’s doe eyes was enough to bring him to his knees.
</p>
<p>
  “How was it?” Oikawa looks at Iwa who seems confused, “the date.”
</p>
<p>
  “Oh…” he clears his throat, “you really wanna talk about it?”
</p>
<p>
  “Yeah.”  <i> NO. </i> Oikawa looks at Iwa, biting on the inside of his cheek to prevent the tears that are pooling from falling. He didn’t want to talk about his first date, his first date that hadn’t been with him. He puts on his best (fake) smile, “best friends talk about that stuff, right?”
</p>
<p>
  <i> Friends. </i>
</p>
<p>
  Iwaizumi really hated that word.
</p>
<p>
  *                      *<br/>
<b> <i> Japan – 2011 </i></b> 
</p>
<p>
  “Iwa-chan~” Oikawa whines as the Alpha continues his quick-paced steps as they head towards school. “Slow down!”
</p>
<p>
  “I’m meeting Himari before homeroom.”
</p>
<p>
 Oikawa pauses, face dropping at the casual use of her given name. Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi enjoyed their move date and all the other dates that seem to take up all of his free time lately. If it wasn’t for them walking to school together, Oikawa would only see his best friend during practice.
</p>
<p>
  He watches as Iwa just continues walking as if he had never been beside him, as if he had been walking to school alone from the start. Oikawa wants to reach out his hand, to call out towards Iwa, but he doesn’t. 
</p>
<p>
  Even he can see that he doesn’t hold the same place in Iwaizumi’s life that he used to. When they were children, Iwaizumi promised Oikawa that he’d be with him forever, but what the Omega didn’t realize was that their forever wasn’t as long as he thought it’d be. 
</p>
<p>
  *                      *<br/>
“Isn’t that your jacket?” Hanamaki hits Oikawa’s shoulder, pulling the Omega out of his thoughts.
</p>
<p>
  “Huh?” Oikawa looks where Hanamaki is discretely pointing, Kaneko is closely walking to Iwaizumi’s side, casually brushing against him as if his usual fresh earth scent hadn’t been contaminated enough with her peach scent. He used to love peaches, they were one of his favorite fruits, but now he can’t stomach the smell.
</p>
<p>
  He noticed the black and teal athletic jacket immediately, Iwaizumi had gotten it at the start of high school, but quickly outgrew it so Oikawa ended up wearing it most days. Oikawa had always made sure to give it back for a few days so that it would once again smell like Iwaizumi and Oikawa relished in the fact that the Alpha had once told him how nicely Oikawa looked in the jacket.
</p>
<p>
  “Oh no, it’s Iwa-chan’s.” Oikawa tries to smile while looking up at the Beta, but he can’t make it touch his eyes. Not when he sees how perfectly Iwa and that female Omega fit together, how the jacket that fits Oikawa perfectly, hangs a little big on Kaneko and he knows Alpha’s eat up a small, dainty looking Omega. What he thinks hurts the most looking at them is that Iwa hasn’t stopped smiling since their first date and more than anything he wanted Iwa to look at him that way. 
</p>
<p>
  *                      *<br/>
There are many things people know about Seijoh’s setter and ace, one of them being that whenever Oikawa is in a pinch, he will always set to Iwaizumi. It’s been said the two have some type of psychic connection, some say it’s because they’ve played together since they were little, but the reality was the amount of trust they share. 
</p>
<p>
  For as long as Oikawa can remember, Iwaizumi has been there by his side and no matter what he threw at him, Iwaizumi never walked away from him. Which is exactly why his next move completely shocks everyone in the gymnasium since the score is match point for the other team and Seijoh is four points behind.
</p>
<p>
  “Makki!” Oikawa shouts, sending the ball to the other outside hitter. 
</p>
<p>
  His face scrunches up but he doesn’t let it phase him, not on the court. Hanamaki hits the ball but it’s blocked. The sound the ball makes when it hits the ground is deafening even as the whistle blows, signaling the end of the game and a loss for Seijoh.
</p>
<p>
  The team is silent as Iwaizumi just brushes past Oikawa; no one really speaks until the third years are left behind in the locker room.
</p>
<p>
  “What the fuck was that?” Iwaizumi growls as he slams his locker shut.
</p>
<p>
  Oikawa shrugs, “I thought it was the better choice.”
</p>
<p>
  “It was match point!” Iwaizumi shouts, “you wanna make shitty calls, do it on your own time.”
</p>
<p>
  “I’m the setter for Aoba Johsai, not Iwaizumi Hajime.”
</p>
<p>
  In the blink of an eye, Iwaizumi has a tight grip on Oikawa’s shirt pressing him up against the locker. His teeth are clenched and his breathing heavy; he never understood the phrase ‘seeing red’ until this moment.
</p>
<p>
  “Calm down, Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa attempts to pry them apart.
</p>
<p>
  “Did I piss off the big bad Alpha?” Oikawa teases as he covers his nose, picking up on the strong scent radiating off Iwaizumi. 
</p>
<p>
  Matsukawa and Hanamaki share a look, as Betas they didn’t have the same sense of smell as the other two sub-genders. But they could pick up on the obvious ripple between their relationship. Sure, Oikawa enjoys teasing Iwaizumi, but this was something completely different.
</p>
<p>
  “It’s not worth letting him get to you.” Hanamaki says, pulling on Iwaizumi.
</p>
<p>
  The two players stare at each other, neither wanting to concede to the other for various reasons. An Alpha prides itself in its strength, in its ability to dominate a situation; an Alpha never submits to anyone other than maybe their marked mate. An Omega may not be as strong and labeled as submissive, but they are also strong-willed and this Omega especially refused to waver.
</p>
<p>
  “Whatever.” Iwaizumi slams his hand against the wall by Oikawa’s head before turning and storming out of the locker room. 
</p>
<p>
  “What was that about?” Hanamaki looks at Oikawa who is smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt.
</p>
<p>
  “I said that I thought that was the best call.”
</p>
<p>
  “That’s not what he’s talking about.” Matsukawa speaks up.
</p>
<p>
  “I don’t always have to depend on him.” Oikawa shrugs again, grabbing his bag.
</p>
<p>
  “Because he’s an Alpha?” Matsukawa asks as the three of them trickle out of the locker room.
</p>
<p>
  Oikawa feels his emotions boiling up, “because he’s not my Alpha!” The words flood out before he can stop them and he stops walking. “Because if I don’t stop now, how will I be able to depend on someone else?”
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. induratize</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>induratize: to make one’s own heart hardened or resistant to someone’s pleas or the idea of love.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i> <b> Japan – 2011 </b></i>
  
</p><p>The scent fills the locker room almost instantly and based on Iwaizumi’s body language, Hanamaki and Matsukawa know it can’t be good. Kindaichi and Kunimi give each other a worried look having caught a whiff of the scent as well.</p><p>“Hello!” Oikawa waves to the team, seemingly unbothered by their reactions.</p><p>“You stink.” Iwaizumi states, causing the rest of the team to all look between each other, holding their breath, Iwaizumi’s scent is coated by his anger, the usual refreshing smell is now a nauseating rotten one.</p><p>“Iwa-chan, how rude!” He flashes a smile at Iwa who is visually pissed, “I thought Alphas were sensitive about their scents and here you are talking poorly about another one.”</p><p>Iwaizumi breathes heavily and he looks as though he might tear someone’s head off. Rage is fuming off of Iwaizumi as he stands there, trying not to ball up his fists, the Alpha’s scent on Oikawa all but burning his nose. He grabs Oikawa by the back of his shirt, dragging him down the hallway and outside to the back of the gym.</p><p>“What the fuck, Oikawa!” He pushes him up against the wall, his eyes glaring at the Omega, an arm pressed next to the Omega’s head.</p><p>“Ouch, Iwa.” He pushes against Iwa’s chest, but his friend doesn’t budge. </p><p>“Who is he?” </p><p>“Why does it matter?” Oikawa asks with a snarky tone, “you’ve never cared about who I dated before.”</p><p>“Those were Betas and Omegas, dumbass. This is different.”  <i> Because an Alpha is an actual threat. </i></p><p>Oikawa looks Iwaizumi head on, an extremely uncommon action for an Omega, “why’s this different?”</p><p>“Because it just is!” Iwa’s voice booms, coming out like a deep growl.  <i> Because I love you. </i></p><p>His face drops; half submitting to the Alpha’s tone and half in disappointment. Maybe for the last several years, he had misread Iwa’s actions. Maybe to Iwaizumi their interactions were just normal for their friendship. His Omega nature took control and he started to tear up, his bottom lip quivering.</p><p>“Oikawa, I—” Iwaizumi can’t find the words. The sight of an upset Omega could pluck at the heartstrings of any Alpha, but for Iwa, this sight nearly breaks his heart. </p><p>“I’m fine, really.” Oikawa wipes his forearm across his eyes, sniffing.  <i> I thought you loved me. </i></p><p>Neither say anything, both of their scents dulling, but the saltwater scent of another Alpha still clings to Oikawa and the air around them. Oikawa slumps against the wall, he suddenly feels exhausted, turning his head to look away from Iwaizumi. </p><p>Iwa leans back, the Omega taking the opportunity to slip away from him, wrapping his arms around himself as he scurries around the corner. The Alpha curses under his breath before smashes his fist into the wall, shaking it as he pulls it back. Since he was a child, his mother had always reminded him that as an Alpha it was important to keep his emotions in check because they not only affected his pheromones and those around him but because it wasn’t healthy to keep them bottled up. Yet here he was letting his rage overtake all of his senses and upsetting the one person who means the most to him. </p><p>**<br/>Even after practice, Iwaizumi is still pissed off. He is pissed about Oikawa smelling like another Alpha, he knew it was in his head, but he swore he could still smell the saltiness in the air around him. He’s pissed that it bothered him so much to begin with and that he’s still mad even after the insane amount of drills and spikes he did.</p><p>He slams his locker door shut, the sound ringing through his ears and he jumps slightly when he sees Himari standing there. He squeezes his eyes shut, head pounding from his raging emotions and he really doesn’t feel like dealing with answering why he’s so mad.</p><p>Omega often flair their pheromones out to help calm those around them, it’s a practice done a lot by parents to their children, but Alpha/Omega couples do the same, which is why a peachy scent starts to fill the hallway and while Iwaizumi understands the biological instinct, it’s not the scent he wants, not the one that he needs.</p><p>His childhood was filled with a warm, soothing vanilla scent, it was the one that calmed him down after cleaning up scratches on knees and elbows, made him feel better when he was sick and was there when he needed a hug. Then somewhere along the line, while vanilla still lingered, a sweet and floral smell of honey started to be what he sought after. </p><p>However, the scent that’s surrounding isn’t helping the way she wants it to and it’s no fault of hers which makes Iwa feel even worse.</p><p>“Hajime, what’s wrong?” She looks up at him with such a sweet and innocent look that he can’t even manage to look her in the eye, instead fixating on a speck on the floor. She takes a step closer to him, tapping the top of his shoe with hers, “please talk to me.”</p><p>He puts on his best fake smile, masking how he really felt, “just a long day, is all.”</p><p>Himari looks him up and down, his usual fresh smell is dulled which was rare for the Alpha, his temper and emotions always seemed to be leveled out. They’d been officially seeing each other for roughly 8 months now and she’s never wondered if he was lying to her, until now. She starts to fidget with the hem of her sweater, nervously twisting her fingers around the fabric.</p><p>She reaches out a hand, gently grabbing his wrist and giving it a soft squeeze, a polite smile on her face. “I can’t help you if I don’t know.”</p><p>He yanks away his arm, squeezing his eyes shut again, “ <b> just stop! </b> ”</p><p>The Omega feels small, she’s never been yelled at before, never had an Alpha use their authoritative tone with her before. Her eyes swell up with tears, her body trembles, the peachy notes that hung in the hall now fading out,“…just wanted…to h-h-help.”</p><p>“But I didn’t ask for it!” He drags his fingers through his hair, tugging on it. He can feel his anger start to ripple off into his pheromones, he knows that he should try to take a deep breath and control it, but he can’t. </p><p>Himari doesn’t say anything as her head hangs low with drooped shoulders, the overwhelming Alpha pheromones and his tone has her submitting and it’s all she can do to not just sink into the floor. </p><p>“Iwaizumi, what the hell?” Matsukawa walks over to the couple, positioning himself between them, standing closer to Himari. He can notice that she calms a bit, while Betas couldn’t smell the pheromones of Alphas and Omegas, they still have their own scents and he had been told his was similar to that of freshly dried lines and tended to be comforting.</p><p>“Whatever.” He yanks his bag off the ground, flinging it over his shoulder.</p><p>She flinches a little as he storms by her, the quick movement of his bag causing a slight burst of air to hit her arm. She bites down on her lower lip, keeping it from trembling as she feels Matsukawa put an arm around her.</p><p>“He’s mad at Oikawa, not you. But he still shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He squeezes the hand that’s on her shoulder, for the first time realizes how small and dainty she is.</p><p>**<br/>Oikawa is standing in his backyard, looking up at the sky; it’s cloudy so he can’t see any stars, but to be honest, he’s not really thinking about stars. His head is pounding, still overwhelmed by everything that happened today, the dominating Alpha scents clashing enough to exhaust him.</p><p>He glances over to the right, seeing a figure moving through the Iwaizumis’ backyard before the fresh earthy scent gets caught in a breeze and he wants to run to it, to walk over to the fence and apologize, but he can’t. The fence isn’t just separating their yards, but somehow separating their lives too and if today taught the Omega anything, it was that his feelings for Iwaizumi would only end up hurting him. </p><p>Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa hesitates before heading back into his house, but luckily a gust of wind carries the Omega’s scent his way, even if it’s faint and for the first time today, Iwaizumi’s shoulders relax. He pulls out his phone, calling Himari, deciding it was time to face that. </p><p>“Hajime? Are you okay?” </p><p>Most people would be happy that their partner was worried about them, to know they wanted to know how they felt, but it just makes him feel worse. If he’s honest, he feels like he cheated, or that he is cheating by holding these feelings for someone else, by not being able to fully commit to her, but he wants to believe that’s not true. He couldn’t give his all to a girl who truly cares for him, but also couldn’t give up a boy who doesn’t share his feelings, life truly is cruel. </p><p>“I should be asking you that.” He pauses, “I really am sorry.”</p><p>“I know. Matsukawa explained what happened.”</p><p>Iwaizumi freezes, if he hadn’t been clutching the phone it would’ve fallen. “He did?”</p><p>“Yep! He told me that you and Oikawa had an off day at practice, but that happens. Friends fight sometimes, did you two make up?”</p><p>An off day? That was an understatement, but Iwaizumi appreciated that Mattsun didn’t tell her the reasoning behind the altercation. “Oh, uhm, not yet.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t wait too long, if you do things could get worse. I couldn’t imagine a day where you two weren’t friends.” </p><p>*		*<br/>“Seriously, this is getting old.” Matsukawa rolls his eyes, tugging on his knee pads to reassuring they are in place.</p><p>“Just tell him.”</p><p>Matsukawa sighs, “Oikawa said to tell you to be faster with your spikes.”</p><p>Iwaizumi clenches his jaw, irritation radiating off his shoulders. It had been several weeks since they fought in the locker room, neither making much of an effort to repair their friendship and resorting to a middle school approach to talking to each other. He leans over to Hanamaki, whispering something before the Beta starts laughing.</p><p>“Iwa said learn how to set better then, Shittykawa.”</p><p> Oikawa folds his arms in front of him, storming off to pick up a volleyball to get practice restarted. He wants to fix things with Iwaizumi, wants them to fix their relationship, but Iwaizumi spent even more time with Himari so he couldn’t ever find an opening. </p><p>Practice is going fine, everything running smoothly until Iwaizumi’s words cloud Oikawa’s judgement and he twists his knee a bit too fast, too far, a loud popping sound echoes through the gym as both the volleyball and Oikawa hit the floor.</p><p>He grabs at his leg, a sharp almost burning sensation causes tears to pool in his eyes, his scent quickly dulling as he cries out in pain. He can’t breathe, sobs slipping through his lips as everything he’s worked for, everything he’s trained, for flashes before him. </p><p>A blur of voices invades his senses at once, not to mention the mix of pheromones surrounding him as everyone works on trying to figure out what happened before he feels himself being lifted off the ground. He’s confused, slightly panicked until he instantly realizes it’s Iwaizumi and when he looks up there’s a concerned expression on his face. </p><p> <i> Learn how to set better then. </i></p><p>Iwaizumi wants to comfort the broken Omega in his arms, to help calm him down, but all he can think about the last thing he said to him. If he hadn’t said that, if he hadn’t tried to make a dig at him, Oikawa wouldn’t have tried so hard, especially when he was already an amazing setter. What could he say in this moment to make up for what he said? A simple ‘I’m sorry’ just didn’t feel like it would be enough. </p><p>Oikawa wants to say something, to break this awkward barrier that’s been between them these last couple of weeks, but he didn’t have too much confidence when he was being carried bridal style down the hall by his best friend, not to mention the searing pain in his knee. But he still didn’t pass up the opportunity to melt in the Alpha’s warm embrace.</p><p>*		*<br/>“I’m fine, Mom. Really.” </p><p>Miyeko stares at her son, unconvinced by his words. Oikawa is standing in the doorway, his right knee wrapped up in a beige elastic sports wrap, bent slightly while Iwa is under his right arm, supporting his weight. </p><p>“Is that true, Hajime?”</p><p>“He sprained his knee at practice.”</p><p>Oikawa eyes widen as he looks over at the Alpha, a ‘what the fuck’ expression on his face. It wasn’t that much of a shock to be honest, Iwa had never been able to lie to his parents or Oikawa’s at that, there had been several times when Iwa would just run away from one of their moms rather than being dishonest.</p><p>Miyeko then went into mom mode, telling Iwa to quickly bring him to his room, but also go slow so he didn’t get hurt again. She then asked the Alpha to bring her a few pillows from the hall closet, along with an ice pack and bottle of painkillers from the kitchen before turning her attention back to Oikawa.</p><p>When Iwaizumi returned with everything, Miyeko propped up his knee under the pillows, handed him a few pills with the bottle of water Iwa thought to bring and told him to use the ice pack if he needed, practically everything the nurse had told him. After she finished fussing over him, she told him she was going to start dinner, telling Iwa that she was leaving her son in his care. </p><p>“I’m sure your girlfriend is waiting for you, you can leave.”</p><p>“I can stay.”</p><p>Oikawa knows better than to read into Iwa’s words, that he needs to take them at surface value if he wants to protect himself, but there was something about the way he said those three words that made him hesitate, made him contemplate letting himself read way too much into them.</p><p>**<br/>“What the hell are you doing, Hanamaki?” Iwa scolds the pink haired Beta who was in the process of lifting up the Alpha’s shirt.</p><p>“I was looking to see if you guys had some sort of attachment or something. You’ve been tied at the hip since Oikawa got hurt.” Hanamaki smirks, getting an eye roll from the others.</p><p>“You two are even closer that before, slightly disturbing.” Matsukawa says, barely raising his eyes from his phone to meet Iwaizumi’s. “Didn’t the doctor say he was completely fine now?”</p><p>“Iwa-chan’s just making sure I’m okay~”</p><p>It’s been several weeks since the accident, but even after getting a clean bill of health, the Alpha hasn’t budged from Oikawa’s side. Iwa is there to walk him to school, telling the Omega to feel free to hold on to him if he felt unsteady, insists on carrying his tray at lunch and even his gym bag on their way home and while it may seem like nothing to most people, Oikawa loves it.</p><p>Oikawa loves the attention, loves having someone right there by his side that cares about him, worries about him and what he loves even more is that it’s Iwaizumi, but the knowledge that Iwa isn’t his is never far from his mind. Especially when Iwa turns his phone from Oikawa’s line of sight or when the Omega hits the home button to check the time and sees Iwa’s lock screen is still a picture of her.</p><p>“Himari better be careful or people will think it’s Oikawa that you’re in a relationship with.” Hanamaki teases the Alpha, but quickly gets a swift kick in the ankle from Matsukawa.</p><p>Oikawa links his arm with Iwa, leaning his head on his shoulder, “Iwa-chan would be lucky to date me.” </p><p>Iwaizumi clears his throat, pulling himself out of the Omega’s grip, “I should go find Himari, see ya.”</p><p>“I thought you were worried about relying on Iwaizumi too much?” Matsukawa’s words are low enough Iwa couldn’t hear him but loud enough for Oikawa to hear them and their meaning crystal clear.</p><p>*		*<br/> <i> <b> Japan – 2012, January </b></i></p><p>Himari tightly clutches the small bag in her hand, nuzzling her face into the oversized scarf she has on, waiting for Iwa. New Year’s was a few days ago, but this is the first time the couple has gotten to see each other. Her face lights up as she scans the crowd, locking eyes with him, standing up to greet him when he gets closer. </p><p>“Hajime!” She practically skips towards him, crashing into his chest, embracing the warmth she feels when he wraps his arms around her, his chin resting on the top of her head. After Oikawa got hurt, she didn’t see the Alpha much, which she tried her hardest not to let bother her, they were best friends after all, but it did. She started to wonder if the rumor she had heard when she first got to Aoba Joshai was true.</p><p>***</p><p> <i> “Anyone catch your eye, Kaneko?” </i></p><p> <i> Himari blushed, shyly tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, not really wanting to out her crush. It had only been a few weeks since she first spoke to him and didn’t want to jinx anything, plus at her last school, she had lost a friend over a shared crush. “I haven’t been here that long.” </i></p><p> <i> “Oh c’mon! No one? I’ll share mine first, okay?” The other Omega girl leaned closer, just enough so only Himari and the few other girls could hear, “I like Kunimi-kun.” </i></p><p> <i> “Isn’t he a first year?” One of the other girls asked, she was one of the few female Alphas in the class. </i></p><p> <i> “So? He’s adorable!” She turned back to Himari, “your turn!” </i></p><p> <i> Himari chewed on the inside of her cheek, would it really be okay to tell people? Plus, she still wasn’t sure if he was ever single, surely, he wouldn’t be, right? “Uhm, well…Iwaizumi-san seems really nice. B-b-but I’m sure he’s got someone, so no worries.” </i></p><p> <i> The other girls got quiet, awkwardly looking around the classroom before the female Alpha spoke up. “He’s single as far as I know.” </i></p><p> <i> “But there’s that rumor.” The Omega added, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. </i></p><p> <i> “Rumor?” Himari titled her head to the side, unsure of if she wanted to know. </i></p><p> <i> “That he and Oikawa-san are a thing. They are always together.” </i></p><p> <i> “I heard that they are childhood friends, isn’t that normal?” Himari said, wanting to change the subject but the curiosity was getting the best of her. </i></p><p> <i> “Oikawa-san had a girlfriend and after they broke-up, it started going around that it was because Oikawa-san had feelings for Iwaizumi-san.” </i></p><p> <i> “Wouldn’t that be weird?” A female Beta sitting behind Himari asked, finally joining the conversation. </i></p><p> <i> “Alpha/Omega pairs are normal, how’s that weird?” The female Alpha asked, her tone filled with irritation, pheromones filled the room causing some of the Omegas to flinch. </i></p><p> <i> The conversation pretty much ended after that, everyone breaking away and heading back to their seats leaving Himari to her thoughts. Whenever she had seen the two together, it never crossed her mind that they were more than friends, but when she compared herself to Oikawa, she knew she’d fall flat. </i></p><p>***<br/>“You weren’t waiting too long, were you?” He adjusts her scarf, it was one he had given her to wear several months ago.</p><p>“No, I just got here.” She beams a smile up at him, lots of girls say that they could look at their significant others for hours, but Himari really could, she loves the way his brows pinch together when he’s concentrated on something and the soft smile he gives her.</p><p>“Let’s head inside, I don’t’ want you to get cold.” He links arms with her, the two walking into the small coffee shop nearby.</p><p>“This is for you.” She slides the bag across the table, her face burning red as he opened it.</p><p>He pulls out a small keychain, half of a heart with Himari engraved in cursive lettering and before he can say anything, she shows him the other half, with Hajime engraved in the same font.</p><p>“They’re magnetic,” she demonstrates by placing them together, the heart being completed.</p><p>Iwa isn’t sure what to say, he doesn’t hate them, he thinks that they’re pretty cute, but something just feels off. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I can’t believe we’ve been dating for a year now.”</p><p>He chokes a bit on his water, her words running through his head. A year, had he heard that right? He looks up at her, surprised she isn’t upset at that obvious fact he had no idea.</p><p>She chuckles, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand, “it’s okay, you’ve been busy.”</p><p>He nods, squeezing her hand, but he knew that wasn’t the case, he had a knack for remembering dates. Birthdays, events, anything that he heard in regards to being on a specific date, Iwaizumi could recall it, especially dates that had to do with Oikawa. He could effortlessly recount the date the Omega told him about volleyball, when Oikawa decided he wanted to be a setter, even when he had won the best setter award, so him spacing out on his anniversary was bothering the Alpha.</p><p>“That just means you owe me an extra special gift next year.”</p><p>He’s completely lost in thought, mentally going down the road of once again comparing Himari and Oikawa that he doesn’t bother to really pay attention to what she’s said before giving her a reply. “Of course.”</p><p>*		*<br/> <i> <b>  Japan – 2012, Early February </b></i></p><p>“Who wants to place bets on when he’ll propose?” Hanamaki says off-hand, waiting with the others for Iwaizumi to join them so they could get ramen together, the Alpha telling his girlfriend bye.</p><p>“What!?” Oikawa practically screams his question, a horrified expression on his face.</p><p>“Iwaizumi seems like the guy to marry his first girlfriend.” Makki shrugs, “I bet he proposes during college. Second year, most likely.”</p><p>“If you spent more time filling your brain with school material rather than this, you’d have better grades.” Matsukawa hits Makki in the head with the notebook in his hand.</p><p>“Ow!” He tries to toss a glare at Mattsun but it comes out more of a queasy looking expression. “I’m just stating the obvious, can’t blame a guy for that.”</p><p>A million things start to run through the Omega mind, he had always known that would happen, right? That Iwa would find someone, some Omega, date, fall in love and get married, he knew that, didn’t he? He had to because he was the Alpha’s best friend, but if that was the case, why was he suddenly feeling so sick to his stomach? </p><p>Oikawa watches as Himari presses herself up on her tip toes, kissing Iwa goodbye as his oversized jacket hangs off her shoulder. He watches as Iwa effortlessly pulls it back up onto her shoulder, fingers gently tugging a bit of hair behind her ear causing her face to turn bright red. His jaw clenches, the sick feeling turning to more of rage before he realizes that he just feels pathetic. </p><p>Memories of the two of them growing up flash in his mind, the tenderness Iwa often showed him washing over him, all the times he was gentle with him like he is now with Himari makes Oikawa feel nauseous. It’s now that he realizes that similar actions don’t mean similar feelings, that all those times he thought the Alpha felt the same way he did must have just been his wishful thinking.</p><p>“I think I’m just going to head home.” </p><p>Oikawa just walks away from Makki and Mattsun, ignoring them when they try to get him to talk, asking him what’s wrong. His head’s hanging down, the sleeve of his blazer wipes across his face, smearing the tears, wanting nothing more than to stop feeling the way he does.</p><p> <i> If Iwa was destined to meet someone and fall in love with them, why couldn’t it be me? </i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. eshajōri</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>eshajōri: people meet, always part</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i> <b> Japan— 2012, Mid-February  </b></i>
  
</p>
<p>Matsukawa likes to think of himself as a decent friend, the kind of friend that knows when to step into someone’s business and when to remain on the sidelines waiting for them to ask for his help, but right now he isn’t sure what to do. </p>
<p>Iwaizumi and Oikawa haven’t spoken in weeks and it isn’t like it was before where Oikawa would childishly relay messages to the Alpha through him or Makki, instead they were acting as if they didn’t know each other. Iwaizumi spent lunch with Himari and some of her friends, but sometimes if she was busy he’d sit with Makki or Mattsun and Oikawa spends his lunch with some Alpha from the soccer team.</p>
<p>Mattsun couldn’t figure out what caused this riff between them, how practically overnight the group of four went down to two with no warning, and how as much as it pained them both to admit, they missed the loudness that came with Iwaizumi and Oikawa.</p>
<p>“To what do we owe this pleasure?” Makki meets Iwa’s eyes, the Beta smirks as he ignores the irritation filling the Alpha’s eyes. </p>
<p>Iwa slams his water bottle on the table, sliding into the bench seat next to Mattsun, ignoring Makki entirely. He looks over at the Beta to his right, “where’s  <i> he </i> at?”</p>
<p>Both Betas just looked at the table, neither wanting another incident where Iwaizumi went off over Oikawa and an Alpha, but they didn’t get a chance to say anything, the Omega’s overly sweet honey pheromones were filling the courtyard and they both started to prepare for the Alpha’s fiery reaction.</p>
<p>At first glance around the courtyard, Oikawa couldn’t immediately be seen, mostly due to the large Alpha that was standing behind him, large arms wrapped around the Omega. The Alpha nuzzles against Oikawa’s neck, the Omega carelessly flaring out his pheromones. </p>
<p>“ <i> Who the </i> <b> fuck </b> <i> is that </i>?” Iwaizumi squeezes his plastic water bottle, both Betas flinching when the bottle makes a loud  <i> pop </i> sound, bursting from the excessive pressure. He doesn’t really give either a chance to answer, flaring out his own scent as he storms off, completely missing the concerned expression on Oikawa’s face when he glances back at the Alpha.</p>
<p>*		*<br/>  <i> <b> Japan – 2012, Early March  </b></i></p>
<p>“Himari? Himari?” </p>
<p>The Omega shakes her head, turning from looking out the window to look at the Alpha in front of her, her attention returning to her boyfriend. “Hm?”</p>
<p>“You said that you wanted to talk to me, everything okay?” He reaches across the table, grabbing one of hands, giving it a soft squeeze.</p>
<p>When she had asked him to meet her, she had planned out what to say, but now that she had his comforting pheromones around her, she found herself losing her nerve. Part of her wants to just tell him that she missed him and just wanted to hangout, but she knew that if she didn’t do it now then she might never do it and that wasn’t fair to either of them.</p>
<p>“Um…about yesterday…” she chews the inside of her cheek, not knowing exactly how to approach the subject especially with how explosive it had gotten.</p>
<p>**<br/> <i> Himari was standing next to Mattsun, waiting for Iwaizumi to change shoes before the three of them, plus Hanamaki, were going to head to the arcade when there’s a sudden rush of pheromones. An overwhelming mixture of salt water and fresh dirt filled the small area and Himari buried her face into Mattsun’s sleeve, the pheromones getting too intense for the unmarked Omega. </i></p>
<p> <i> He glanced down to her, but the sound of lockers slamming told him everything. He looked at Makki before telling him to take her outside before he walked around to see Iwaizumi, who was glaring down Shio Taichi, the captain of the soccer team and Alpha that Oikawa had been attached to lately, even without the ability to pick up on pheromones, Mattsun could see the rage coming from Iwa. </i></p>
<p> <i> “What the hell is your problem?” He switched to glaring at Oikawa, who had positioned himself slightly behind Shio, the massive amounts of Alpha pheromones made him dizzy. “Are you fucking stupid?” </i></p>
<p> <i> “What Tooru does is none of your business, Iwaizumi-san.” There was a cockiness in his tone, the Alpha smirked as he watched Iwa flare up again. Clearly Shio had already noticed Iwaizumi’s tendency to lash out when mad and wanted to toy with the other Alpha. He leaned down enough to speak next to Iwa’s ear, low enough so only he heard, “just because you passed him up doesn’t mean every Alpha is as dumb as you.” </i></p>
<p> <i> The words only provoked Iwaizumi more, but even so his eyes remained locked on Oikawa, his words directed at him. “What if he had marked you? Then what?” </i></p>
<p> <i> Mattsun snapped his attention to the Omega, eyes on his neck to see just what Iwa was talking about. From the distance Mattsun was at, none of the bite marks looked deep at all and were located higher on the neck than where his scent glands were, although Oikawa’s shirt collar would be blocking that anyways. But he could understand where Iwaizumi was coming from, marking was something that should be taken seriously, not done carelessly. </i></p>
<p> <i> “Again, it’s none of you bus—” </i></p>
<p> <i> “Why do you even care?” Oikawa yelled, locking eyes with Iwaizumi for the first time in weeks. When he heard Iwaizumi ask about being marked he almost felt ashamed, it would’ve been a terrible thing, him being linked to this Alpha he’s only gotten to really know over the last month or so, but now he felt rage. </i></p>
<p> <i> “Oik—” </i></p>
<p> <i> “No! You have an Omega, so why do you give a shit what I do?” He grabbed the bottom of Shio’s blazer, tugging on it, “let’s just go.” </i></p>
<p> <i> Shio gave Iwaizumi one final smirk before he turned around, draping an arm around Oikawa’s shoulders before they walked out of the school. He just barely glanced over in Himari’s direction and when he looked away, she knew exactly what had gotten Iwa so mad and what she had to do about it. </i></p>
<p>**<br/>Iwa scratches the back of his head, not really wanting to remember any of it because if he was honest, he wasn’t over it. “Himari, I don’t –”</p>
<p>“Do you love him?” She pulls her hand from his, wringing them together, a nervous tendency in Omegas. The sweet peachy scent starts to dull and she’s biting on her lip, hoping that the tears filling her eyes don’t fall. A wave of nausea hits her, feeling like she already knows what’s coming.</p>
<p>His conversation with Yui floods over him: </p>
<p> <i> You like Oikawa. You can’t help who you fall for. You have it the hardest, watching him fall for other people. </i></p>
<p>If Yui had been the only one to ever discover the Alpha’s feelings, maybe he could’ve continued to hide them, but the fact that another person noticed them told Iwaizumi that he couldn’t do that anymore because no matter how hard he tries to hide them, they always come out. He wants to look up at her face, for some reason wants to see the expression she has but he can’t because that guilty feeling he’s had for a while starts to claw its way up his throat.</p>
<p>“He’s my best friend, that’s all.”</p>
<p>She lets out a nervous chuckle, suddenly feeling very foolish, she knows his answer and that once he tells her, their relationship with be over. Maybe somewhere deep down she always knew that it would end like this, looking back the two of them just make sense, but that doesn’t mean she just wants to give Iwaizumi to Oikawa. She thought that even if she couldn’t be in his heart, that she could at least be by the Alpha’s side, that that would be enough for her, but it’s not. </p>
<p>“Yesterday when you mentioned marking to Oikawa, you asked him ‘then what?’ but what it sounded like was ‘but what about me?'” She bites on her lower lip, “you smell like an Omega, but fly into a rage when he smells like an Alpha, that can only add up one way.”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi opens his mouth to refute her claim, but opts to stay silent, which like they say, silence can be answer too and it’s really the only one she needs. She didn’t bring him here to make him feel miserable, she didn’t want him to think that she hates him because she doesn’t, it’s not his fault that she fell in love with him when he was already in love with someone else.</p>
<p>“I really do care about you Hajime-kun. I might always love you, but I don’t think we should date anymore.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize, I always had a fee—” she shakes her head, dismissing the Alpha’s confused expression. “Just promise me that you’ll tell him, before it’s too late.”</p>
<p>“I—”</p>
<p>She leans across the table, grabbing his tie and pulling him closer to her, the action surprising them both. “I’ll hate you forever if you don’t tell him. When we meet for a reunion, you better have told him. Got it?”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi quickly nods his head, he had never seen her so worked up before, and to be honest it scared him a little bit.</p>
<p>“Good. You deserve to be happy too, Hajime-kun.”</p>
<p>*		*<br/> <i> <b> Japan – 2012, Mid-March </b></i></p>
<p>“I still can’t believe I lost my bet.” Makki whines, looking up at the ceiling in Iwaizumi’s room, the three of them hanging out before everyone started their post high school lives. </p>
<p>“No one was in one that, you lost to yourself.” Mattsun made a jab at the Beta.</p>
<p>“Which bet?”</p>
<p>“That you’d end up marrying Himari.”</p>
<p>“Anyways,” Mattsun changes the topic, “any update on your plan to fix things with Oikawa?”</p>
<p>The Alpha shook his head, feeling a bit defeated. After the break-up, something clicked in him and made him want to repair his friendship even more because it dawned on him that they were running out of time. But high school graduation had been a week ago and he was no closer to talking to Omega next door than he had been a month or so ago. He flops down on his bed, scrolling through the mass amounts of messages the Omega had left on read, tossing the phone towards the end of the bed.</p>
<p> <b> Iwaizumi: Can we talk? </b></p>
<p> <b> Iwaizumi: Aren’t we a bit old for the silent treatment? </b></p>
<p> <b> Iwaizumi: Oikawa, c’mon. </b></p>
<p> <b> Iwaizumi: I really want to apologize in person. </b></p>
<p> <b> Iwaizumi: Oi, dumbass! </b></p>
<p>“How do you go from wanting to apologize to name calling? And they say all Alphas aren’t brutes.” Makki teases, scrolling through Iwai’s messages, wondering himself why the Omega wasn’t replying before sending a message himself.</p>
<p> <b> Iwaizumi: C’mon it’s been long enough. </b></p>
<p>He had it on good-faith that he was no longer seeing Shio, in fact, it was the day that Iwaizumi and Shio had made a scene that Oikawa had ended whatever they were. Not that Iwaizumi had paid much attention, whenever they caught of glimpse of each other, they practically ran the other way. </p>
<p> <i> Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. </i></p>
<p>The three of them stop, Makki quickly throwing the phone to Iwa who frantically unlocks it, eyes widening as he reads the message.</p>
<p> <b> Oikawa: Yeah. Meet me outside in 5. </b></p>
<p>**<br/>The five minutes Iwaizumi stood outside waiting for the Omega to walk outside was nothing compared to the almost ten they had been standing, just staring at each other. Everything the Alpha wants to say suddenly disappears, his heart pounding too loudly in his chest for him to think straight enough to talk. </p>
<p>He had told himself that he wanted to rebuilt his friendship with Oikawa before making a confession, but the all familiar scent of the Omega’s pheromones had him wavering, wanting to drop to his knees and spill out his heart. </p>
<p>“I just think it’s time we stop this.” Oikawa chews his bottom lip.</p>
<p>“Stop what, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi pleads, with whatever entity is listening, that Oikawa’s saying he wants to stops this fight, wants them to go back to being friends like they’ve always been.</p>
<p>He blinks back the tears that threaten to fall. “Pretending this friendship is going to last.”  <i> Pretending that I’m okay keeping these feelings to myself. </i></p>
<p>Iwa can feel it’s something more, Oikawa’s scent trying to tell him more than his words, but he can’t interpret it. His scent is all but screaming at him; screaming in some different language that Iwa doesn’t know. When had that stopped? When did he stop knowing Oikawa, <i> his </i> Oikawa; the one person in the world he held above himself?</p>
<p>“If that’s what you want.” <i> It’s not what I want, so please don’t go. </i> Iwaizumi clenches his jaw, an Alpha’s first instinct is to protect, even when protecting means letting go. Right?</p>
<p> <i> It’s not! Tell me I’m just being a brat. Tell me you don’t want this. </i> “Yeah, I do.”</p>
<p>Oikawa can hear the words leaving his mouth, but they aren’t the ones he wants to say, it’s not how he really feels. They were supposed to make up, it was just some stupid fight yet here he is, shaking. He told himself that sharing his feelings with Iwa would be what tore them apart, but not telling him seems to be doing the same. Maybe this was their destiny, some modern-day star-crossed lovers.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi rubs the back of his neck before kicking the ground. This isn’t how he thought today would go. When Oikawa had finally answered his texts, he thought they were going to make up like they always did. That this half full feeling he felt in his chest would go away, but somehow, it only feels emptier.</p>
<p>“I can bring back your stuff tomorrow.” Oikawa whispers.</p>
<p>“Since when do you return things you borrow?” He laughs, “Keep it. I don’t want your scent around me anymore.”  <i> That’s a lie, I don’t mean that. </i></p>
<p>His words cut through Oikawa, all but destroying him. He wants to run, but his legs feel heavy and he knows this is the last time he’ll have Iwaizumi this close. His heart breaks as tears stream down his face and for the first time in his life, there’s no Iwa-chan on his left or right for him to fall into.</p>
<p>Iwa doesn’t give Oikawa a second glance even when he knows Oikawa’s fallen to his knees, sobs ripping from his throat. A plea for Iwaizumi to turn around, to come back, but he ignores it. His heart shatters as his anger reaches the bottom of his feet, stomping up the sidewalk to his house. For the first time in his life, he’s not standing behind or beside Oikawa waiting for him to need him, to protect him.</p>
<p>Miyeko is halfway down the sidewalk, throwing her arms around her inconsolable son as she hears the front door of the Iwaizumi’s slam shut. She whispers ‘Tooru’ over and over again, making shushing sounds to try to comfort him, but his cries just get louder. She tries to cover him with her scent, scent marking him, but she knows, has known for a while now, that her scent doesn’t comfort him like it used it, not like Iwaizumi’s does. Her heart breaks knowing that all she can do is hold her son, in the middle of their sidewalk until he’s calm enough to walk inside. But even then, she already knows she won’t be able to help repair the damage that was done to his heart.</p>
<p>Kana stares at her son dumbfounded when he flung open the door and not too soon after slammed it shut. She yells out his given name, but he just stomps through the living room and up to his room: not bothering to remove his shoes. His expression, his posture, his heavy scent, and Oikawa’s anguished filled cries tell her all she needs to know. Another door slams and crashing sounds fill his room as Kana walks upstairs. A tear slips down her cheek as she feels her son’s pain, knowing nothing would be able to fix the empty feeling growing in his chest.</p>
<p>*		*<br/> <i> <b> Japan – 2012, Early May </b></i></p>
<p>It isn’t until Iwaizumi is out for an early morning run, that he sees Oikawa with a few bags heading to his parent’s car. He stops, bending down as if he’s doing cooldown stretches, but anyone could tell he was just eavesdropping.</p>
<p>“Don’t forget to call when you land.”</p>
<p>“Honey, it’s a 12 hours difference in Argentina.” Daisuke reminds his wife, shaking his head.</p>
<p> <i> Argentina? </i> Iwaizumi feels his lungs empty. Yeah, Oikawa had talked about going somewhere overseas to continue playing volleyball, but would he just up and leave without telling him?</p>
<p>“I’m still his mother regardless of the time.” Miyeko retorts, wrapping her son in a hug.</p>
<p>“I’ll call, I promise.” He smiles, and Iwa wonders when the last time was that he saw a sincere smile from the Omega.</p>
<p>“Oh, Hajime! Come say goodbye to Tooru.” She waves him over as Daisuke just rolls his eyes at his wife’s meddling. He was just as shocked as she was when their son told them he was no longer friends with the Alpha next door, but he knows it’s something only they can repair.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi stands there, not sure of what to do. He’s not even sure if he remembers how to walk because right now he’s just a shell of Iwaizumi Hajime, he’s conscious but unable to do anything. He wonders if this was similar to how Scrooge felt when he went back in the past and could only watch the event unfold before him. The world is starting to crumble around him, his world that was just big enough for Oikawa and volleyball, everything is breaking apart and disappearing leaving Iwaizumi to feel helpless, something no Alpha handles well.</p>
<p>“I don’t have time, Mom. We have to go.” He doesn’t look back, just like Iwa didn’t look back all those weeks ago, before he climbs in the car and shuts the door.</p>
<p>Iwa just throw up a wave to Oikawa’s parents before jogging the short distance to his house. Kana picks up on her son’s scent before he walks in, one full of regret and she lets out a small sigh before smiling when he walks in.</p>
<p>“How was your…” Her words stop when she sees him start to cry, hitting the wall next to him. Dragging his feet, he flops down next to his mother’s legs, resting his head against her leg as he continues to cry. Kana runs her fingers through his hair, his tears dampening the fabric on her knee. </p>
<p>It’s been a long time since Iwaizumi has allowed himself to fall apart, to break down like he is right now as he clings to his mother, allowing her comforting scent to wash over him. She’s gently rubbing her hand on his back before lightly tugging on his shirt. He sniffles a bit before climbing up on the couch, resting his head back on her lap, his back facing her, she may be his mother but Iwa needed to maintain some amount of pride.</p>
<p>“He’s leaving.” Is all that he could say, his voice cracking as the sobs get caught in his throat. His earthy scent dulling as the sadness he feels increases, the thoughts race through his mind, panic settling in his stomach. </p>
<p>One of the biggest fears Kana had when she became a mother was the inevitability that one day she wouldn’t be able to help her son, that something would happen and she’d be left feeling helpless and useless, her heart clenches when she realizes that that day is today. She doesn’t know this pain, she’s never lost the one she loves, the moment she met Hiroshi was the last moment she ever felt alone. </p>
<p>She knows her son is completely broken when he turns over, burying his face into her stomach as he tries to pull himself closer to her. She continues to run her fingers through his hair as his breathing starts to even out, his grip on her shirt loosens, as his sobs slowly turn into soft snores. His scent slowly filling the room as the sleep causes him to relax, Kana lets out a sigh of relief, brushing a few pieces of hair out of his face.</p>
<p>The thick scent of cedarwood fills the room and Kana looks over to see her husband with worried expression on his face. He rushes over to the couch, leaning forward to try to see Iwa’s face before looking at his wife, kissing her forehead. </p>
<p>“Tooru left for Argentina today.” She looks back down at her son, “I can’t imagine how he feels.”</p>
<p>Hiroshi sighs, he had heard from Daisuke that Oikawa planned on going overseas, neither of them knew exactly when he was going to leave though. Both having expressed on a few occasions their shock that the two had managed to go months without speaking.</p>
<p>He sits in the armchair closest to Kana, reaching for one of her hand, stroking the top of it with his thumb, “it’ll work out, honey.”</p>
<p>“But what if it doesn’t?” She looks up at her husband, tears filling her eyes. She couldn’t imagine seeing her son this broken for months or years even. It was far too premature to think of him even looking at another Omega, but Kana couldn’t picture anyone other than Tooru being with her Hajime. </p>
<p>“Then we’ll be here for whatever he needs.” He squeezes her hand, “trust me, everything will end up just fine.”</p>
<p>*		*<br/>“Are you sure you have everything you need?” Daisuke asks his son, helping to grab a suitcase before shutting the trunk.</p>
<p>“Yep!” Oikawa shut his door, slinging his backpack over one shoulder before walking over to the side of the car his dad is on. He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek, sure he is excited to leave, to play volleyball under a player he’s admired for years, but it feels weird not having Iwaizumi there with him. For a brief second, he wonders if maybe Iwa was coming, if he’d show up just as he was getting ready to board telling him that he’d better call him as soon as he gets there, but for an even longer second, Oikawa is looking forward to a fresh start, a life without Iwaizumi.</p>
<p>Daisuke smirks to himself as he grabs something from the back seat. “Really? What about this?”</p>
<p>Oikawa’s eyes widen and he starts stammering over his words when he sees his dad holding a Godzilla plush that has seen better days. It was a birthday gift Iwaizumi got when they were kids, but Oikawa always found a reason to hold it, so eventually Iwa gave it to him.</p>
<p>“It must’ve been grabbed on accident. I’ll just toss it out when I get there.” Oikawa reaches for it, but Daisuke pulls it back.</p>
<p>“There’s a bin right there.” He points as they walk into the airport.</p>
<p>“No no, it’s fine.” He snatches the plush, stuffing it into his backpack. “I’ll take care of it later.”</p>
<p>“If you say so.” Daisuke chuckles to himself. He’d have to remember to tell his wife about it, give her something to help ease her mind about the situation. He knew the two would find their way back to each other, but when you’re that young, nothing really comes easy especially when you’re as stubborn as his son is.</p>
<p>Oikawa waves to his dad, reassuring him that he’d call when he got there. He hands his ticket to the attendant before getting on the plane. He takes his seat, leaning his head back with his eyes closed, the nerves about the whole ordeal finally setting in. Halfway through the flight, he looks out the window, realizing just how far away he was from Iwa. He unzips his backpack, pulling out the plush he presses it to his nose, it hadn’t smelt like the Alpha in quite some time, but if he tried hard enough he could pretend it did, just like he’s pretending that he’ll be okay without him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Find me on Tumblr: kaitycole</p></blockquote></div></div>
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